Blago gallows humor pretty [bleeping] funny

If nothing else, the language of U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald's 70-plus-page affivavit -- let alone the language used in wiretaps in the affidavit -- lends itself to parody, and to a little gallows humor at a time when maybe a little humor helps break some of the mounting stress.

This from one of my journalism students, whom I will refer to as Journalism Student A in order to shield her identity:

Here is a little something to brighten your morning: An article from the Huffington Post

"In what is being called one of the most daring escape attempts in the history of law enforcement, Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich today offered the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama to the FBI agent who took him into Federal custody this morning.

According to U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, the astonishing escape attempt occurred moments after Mr. Blagojevich was handcuffed by the agent, who was wearing a wire and captured the entire expletive-laden offer on tape."'You can be the [bleeping] junior Senator from [bleeping] Illinois ifyou let me out of these [bleeping] handcuffs,'" Mr. Fitzgerald read from a transcript. "'And if that mother-[bleeper] Barack Obama tries to [bleep] with me, I'll [bleep] him up.'"According to Mr. Fitzgerald, "When I say 'bleep,' he didn't really say'bleep' on the tape," adding, "I'm going to keep making that joke until one of you [bleepers] laughs at it."

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Andy Borowitz [who wrote the parody] is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The NewYorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com.

And in The Weekly Standard, Bill Kristol's neo-conservative opinion magazine, an imaginative -- and imaginary -- account of Thanksgiving dinner around the Blagojevich family table :

111 a. On or about November 27, 2008, ROD BLAGOJEVICH, his wife and daughters, and BLAGOJEVICH's chief of staff JOHN HARRIS ate Thanksgiving dinner together. BLAGOJEVICH's wife asked BLAGOJEVICH to "please pass the potatoes." BLAGOJEVICH asked what his wife was willing to give him for "the f---ing potatoes" because "these f---ing things aren't f---ing cheap." HARRIS said that BLAGOJEVICH's wife might donate $250,000 to Friends of Blagojevich in exchange for the potatoes. BLAGOJEVICH's wife said she thought that was a high price for a spoonful of mashed potatoes and asked BLAGOJEVICH to carve the turkey instead. BLAGOJEVICH said "What am I, your f---ing butler?" and reminded her that "I don't f---ing work for free." HARRIS asked BLAGOJEVICH to consider carving the turkey in exchange for a helping of BLAGOJEVICH's wife's cranberry sauce. BLAGOJEVICH said he "hated f---ing cranberry sauce, you stupid f--k," and reminded his wife that the "only reason we have this f---ing turkey in the first place" was because Senate Candidate 5 had personally delivered it to the BLAGOJEVICH residence that morning. BLAGOJEVICH's wife said BLAGOJEVICH could take Senate Candidate 5's turkey and "shove it up your a--." BLAGOJEVICH said she could have the turkey "but if you feel like you can do this and not f---ing give me anything, then I'll f---ing go." HARRIS volunteered to carve the turkey if BLAGOJEVICH did not want to and the group returned to eating in silence.