COMM 207: Playing it straight as man stuck on stopping exploding blue cow

Some headlines just make you want to read the story. Here's one from The Knoxville (Tenn.) News-Sentinel that pulled me right in.

First, the headline. It's a two-decker:

Man stuck on stopping exploding blue cow
Attempt to enter museum via vent fails

The story is almost mild by comaprison. A guy, Richard Anthony Smith, 25, of Knoxville, to be exact, got stuck in an air vent while he was trying to break into an art museum. News-Sentinel staff writer reported: "Upon his rescue, Smith told police 'he was a special agent with the United States Illuminati' who had rappeled from a military helicopter to the roof of the museum, according to a Knoxville Police Department report. Smith said his mission was to defuse a Russian nuclear device that 'was concealed in a blue plastic cow sculpture in the basement of the museum,' the report states."

There's more. Smith told the cops he was in the wrong museum, the blue cow (or whatever it was) was really in Memphis. And the museum people told them he was also in the wrong flue. It was an exhaust flue leading away from a stove in the catering area.

Read the story. There's still more!

But with all those opportunities for a wisecrack, the Sentinel's copydesk did exactly the right thing: They played it straight down the middle, and took the head right off the police report.